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Saturday March 12, 2005
Ten Dumb Dating
Mistakes
As this is an
Internet dating site I'm going to concentrate on mistakes that are
fairly specific to Internet dating, but a lot of them have relevance to
dating in general.
1. Failure to
begin an email exchange. This is really for the guys. It's a fact that
women still rarely initiate intimate contacts. You're just going to have
to face it guys, if you want anything to happen you'll generally have to
make the first move. This applies equally to starting an email exchange
Online, or going up and asking for a date in person.
2. Telling porkies
in your profile. This is the biggest single complaint I hear from people
with gripes about online dating. Don't do it. You've gotten into
Internet dating because you seriously want to start a relationship,
right? Well then it's not a good idea to do something that most people
won't forgive you for when you get found out (and you will be, believe
me). This also applies to offline dating, don't tell lies about
yourself, it'll only end in tears.
3. Following on
from the above: posting a really old photo that makes you look twenty
years younger because it was taken twenty years ago! Or posting a
completely fictitious photo. If you're going to get it on with someone
you're going to have to meet eventually right? Don't you think they'll
notice? And what do you think their opinion of you will be? Positive?
Not likely.
4. Bringing up
overtly sexual subjects in your initial emails. The same applies to
bringing up stories of your sexual prowess and your favorite sexual
positions and practices in any first contact. It's usually a turn off.
Lea ve discussions of this sort until you know each other better.
5. Mentioning how
unlucky in love you've been. Not a good idea. It's only going to make
you sound like a negative person and none of us like to be around
negative people, do we?
6. Asking to meet
in person right away. If you've only just initiated an email exchange
most people would find it intimidating if you were insistent about
meeting them immediately. If you make a prospective date feel
uncomfortable, do you think they're going to want to maintain contact?
7. Sending email
to the wrong person. There's every likelihood that to begin with you'll
be emailing several prospective dates at once. Double check before you
click the send button in your email program that this email is going to
the right person - what impression do you think you're going to give if
you don't get their name right?
8. Coming on too
strong on initial contact. Yes I do think you'll have problem if
marriage and how many kids you want are mentioned before you've got to
know this person.
9. Not asking deep
enough questions. If you chicken out of asking the questions that are
important to you in your email exchanges, you'll end up meeting a lot of
people you know nothing about and are blatantly incompatible with - a
complete waste of everyone's time.
10. Being too
picky. Because you will generally have way more prospects to choose from
when you're signed up to an Internet dating agency than you ever would
offline, it's simply too easy to be too fussy i.e. if this person isn't
absolutely perfect you're onto the next one without giving yourself time
to make a proper decision. It may be true that there are plenty more
fish in the sea, but if you're not careful you may spend the rest of
your life trawling the ocean for Mr or Ms perfect and realise too late
that they simply don't exist.
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